The Kaede of Feudal Japan
by Shipshoumaru
Summary: Kagome and the gang must visit Kaede to get their wishes granted. I've rated this PG-13 for excessive tush grabbing by Miroku.


Hi! I'm a first time fanfic writer. The name's Mel.  
  
This story is a short crossover between the wonderful anime Inuyasha and the timeless movie The Wizard of Oz. I love random parodies and things of that nature. Anyway, I hope you like this story. It has a lot of great jokes and Inuyasha stereotypes.  
  
The characters crossover as follows:  
  
Kagome - Dorothy  
  
Inuyasha - Cowardly Lion  
  
Miroku - Scarecrow  
  
Sango - Tin Man  
  
Kirara - Toto  
  
Shippou - The Munchkins  
  
Kikyo - Wicked Witch of the East  
  
Sesshoumaru - Glinda, the Good Witch of the North  
  
Naraku - Wicked Witch of the West  
  
Myouga - The Flying Monkeys  
  
Kaede - Wizard of Oz  
  
Jaken - Gateman of Oz  
  
I've tried to keep the Inuyasha people in character as much as possible, only deviating for the sake of humor. There are a few (cough) a lot (cough) of plot changes, but run with it anyway. ^__~  
  
I now introduce to you:  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
The Kaede of Feudal Japan  
  
"Not ramen again," sighs Kagome as she hangs up the phone. Once again, her mother has decided to work late, leaving Kagome to scavenge for dinner as best she can. Times are getting tough and Kagome is finding herself more and more frequently living off of ramen, while her mother takes extra shifts.  
  
The heavy snoring from her grandfather's bedroom shakes the house. Needing to break away from the noise and frustration, Kagome packs a knapsack with various essentials and sets out for a walk.  
  
As she steps into the yard, Kagome spies a glint of fur slip into the barn. That's not my cat, she thinks as she follows the creature. Opening the barn door, she spies a little blonde puff of fur with black stripes, red eyes, and two tails sitting on the edge of the well. She walks towards it and kneels. Extending a hand, she pets the obviously tame feline creature.  
  
"Aren't you pretty?" Kagome coos. "I guess I'll call you Kirara. You look like a Kirara." Kagome picks up Kirara and hold begins to turn.  
  
"BOO!" shouts Souta, Kagome's younger brother. He has been hiding in the shadows. Startled, Kagome loses her footing and falls down the well. Her screams fill the air, until she passes through the bottom of the well, leaving behind the barn and her frightened brother.  
  
After falling for what seems like an eternity, Kagome and Kirara suddenly fall out of another well in a small village and land to the sound of breaking pottery. Feeling confused about the physics of their descent, a bruised Kagome stands and dusts herself off, shaking the dirt from her green and white school uniform. Looking back to where she fell, Kagome sees the clay fragments of what seems to have been a clay woman, a life- size porcelain doll. Lying beside the rubble is two red sequined shoes with the stubs of hollow clay feet still inside.  
  
Confused, Kagome steps backwards and almost crushes a tiny creature. At first sight, Kagome thinks that the creature is a little girl with a bushy squirrel tail and tiny pawed feet. As Kagome attempts to reach for it, the creature scurries off into the bushes, which seemed to be hiding more of the tiny squirrel-like creatures. Kirara sits by Kagome's feet and begins to lick one of her forepaws.  
  
Turning to check her surroundings, Kagome spies a tiny pink bubble growing larger and floating toward her. She reaches out a hand to touch the now giant bubble, when a hand forms from the bubble and slaps her wrist.  
  
"Hey, that's not allowed," complains a distinctly male voice attached to a somewhat feminine body, newly formed from the remnants of the bubble. "You can't pop my transportation bubble."  
  
"Are you a demon or a human?" demands the man, who is dressed in white. His white hair shines in the sunlight, illuminating the claw marks on his cheeks and crescent moon on his forehead.  
  
"A human... Why?" stammers Kagome, completely confused.  
  
"Well, you startled the Shippous when you landed on Kikyo," states the man, pointing at the pottery shards heaped on the ground. "They thought you may have been a demon."  
  
"That was a person," gasps Kagome. "I didn't mean to kill her."  
  
"No, she was already dead. You just broke her. By the way, welcome to feudal Japan. My name is Sesshoumaru, but most people call me Fluffy... I usually kill those people," states the man in an offhand way.  
  
"Come out, Shippous. She won't crush you like she did Kikyo," declares Sesshoumaru.  
  
"She almost stepped on me," sobs one of the Shippous.  
  
"That was an accident. I'm sorry," coos Kagome in an attempt to apologize. She notices, however, that the Shippous do not believe her and are hesitant to come out of hiding. Only a few brave Shippous venture out and collect pieces of Kikyo like grotesque souvenirs.  
  
"Hey," shouts Kikyo, "That's not allowed."  
  
Kagome begins to feel faint. She picks up Kirara and turns back to Sesshoumaru, who shrugs apathetically. Just as Kagome is wondering if the remains of Kikyo will become candy dishes for the village, a gigantic puff of red smoke appears behind the Kikyou-collecting Shippous.  
  
"BOO!" shouts a deep voice emerging from a newly appeared figure clad in an albino monkey pelt. The Shippous immediately scatter, dropping their pieces of Kikyo.  
  
"Kikyo, you idiot. You let her fall on you. Do you realize how long it will take to glue you back together?" shouts the monkey-suited stranger as he begins gathering bits of Kikyo into a bag. However, when he reaches her feet, he screams in outrage.  
  
"WHERE ARE THEY?" he yells ferociously at Kagome.  
  
"Oh do hush, Naraku," smirks Sesshoumaru. "You make too much of a scene. All of this drama over a pair of shoes..." With that he sighs loudly and turns back to Kagome. Pointing toward her feet, he says, "They are right there."  
  
Kagome looks down to discover that her tennis shoes had been replaced by a pair of red sequined shoes. A shriek pierces the air, and Kirara goes flying.  
  
"EEEUUUWWW!!! Get them off! Get them off! Get them off! Get them off!" whines Kagome, hopping up and down. She begins to sob, "These were worn by a dead girl... DEAD GIRL SHOES!!!! ... (Sniffling) They're not even pretty." With that, Kagome sits and begins to take off the shoes.  
  
"No! You must never take off those shoes. Naraku must never get his hands on them," orders Sesshoumaru. One of the Shippous points at Naraku and laughs. "You should have bought a pair when they were on sale like the rest of us did." The rest of the Shippous nod in agreement and snicker.  
  
"Curse you, FLUFFY!!!" spits Naraku, chuckling evilly, amused by Sesshoumaru's subsequent pouting. Approaching Kagome, Naruku shouts, "I'll get you, you shoe thief, and your little rat too."  
  
A yowl from the insulted Kirara fills the air as Naraku disappears in yet another cloud of red smoke, carrying with him the remnants of a cackling Kikyo. Kagome is as confused as ever. Her only thought is of returning home. She wishes she had just eaten the ramen without fussing. She picks up Kirara once more and sighs. "In order to return to your home, you must go see the great and powerful Kaede," says Sesshoumaru, as if reading Kagome's mind.  
  
"How do I find this "Kaede" person?" asks Kagome eagerly.  
  
"Ask them," says Sesshoumaru snidely, pointing to Shippous.  
  
"Ask who? The squirrels?" asks Kagome as Sesshoumaru, still slightly hurt by the "Fluffy" remark, once again transforms into the pink bubble and floats away.  
  
"Excuse me. We are the Shippous. We are not squirrels. We are foxes. and I'm not a girl, so don't even start with that," whines one of the clone-like Shippous.  
  
"Umm.okay," says Kagome, realizing she will have to hurt these whiny, rodent things if she stays much longer.  
  
"Kaede lives in the Jade Temple," says one of the Shippous quietly. Another points and says, "Just follow the Shikon Jewel Road."  
  
Kagome turns in the direction that the Shippou is pointing and sees a beautiful road made up of shiny Jewel fragments. Turning back toward the Shippous, she notices that they are about to break into a song.  
  
"Umm... I'm gonna go now. Singing is not necessary," utters Kagome, eager to escape. The Shippous begin to sulk. One, crying, looks at Kagome and whimpers, "But this is our last appearance in this whole story..."  
  
Deciding that these Shippous were cute but aggravating, Kagome decides it's time to go. "I'm leaving now," announces Kagome over her shoulder as she begins her trek down the Shikon Jewel Road, the Shippous fuming behind her.  
  
Kagome strolls down the shiny road, until she reaches a fork. She stops and looks down both paths, confused about which way to go. Maybe I shouldn't have rushed off from the Shippous without getting directions, she thought, cursing silently to herself. But they were just too annoying.  
  
"Which way should I go?" Kagome asks Kirara, who has been following complacently the entire time.  
  
"Well, you could go that way," says a voice from behind her. Spinning around, Kagome spies a man hanging from a post, pointing to the left. "Or, that way is nice," the man continues, now pointing to the right.  
  
"Well, if you can't decide, you can always go both ways," smirks the man, pointing in both directions.  
  
"Are you okay?" asks Kagome hesitantly.  
  
"If you were hanging from a pole in the hot sun, would you be okay?" asks the man.  
  
"Well, I suppose not," replies Kagome, rushing toward him. She reaches to unhook his clothing from the post and feels a hand on her posterior. Shrieking, she jumps away as the man plows into the ground.  
  
"Thank you for freeing me," states the man, standing and straightening his robes. "My name is Miroku. Sadly, I am a lecher. The farmer tied me here because his daughter and I... well, umm... yeah... If only I had a girl to keep me from being perverted, then I'd be happy." Miroku prepares to break into song.  
  
"Well, I'm off to see the great and powerful Kaede. She will surely be able to find you a soul mate. You may join me, if you promise to keep your hands off of me," says Kagome quickly before the singing can begin.  
  
"The Kaede of the Jade Temple? Of course, I'll join you," exclaims Miroku, eager to leave.  
  
"But what about the promise?" asks Kagome, as Miroku begins down the right path. "Oh well," she sighs, following.  
  
The trio walks down the Shikon Jewel Road for many miles. Finally they reach a clearing, where a girl stands transfixed. Running up to her, Kagome asks, "What's wrong? Are you paralyzed or something?"  
  
"Shhh!" the girl replies. "I'm having a staring contest with my pet snake."  
  
"Umm... you do understand that snakes have transparent eyelids? So, on the off chance it blinks, you may not realize it," says Kagome, worried about the level of sanity in this strange world.  
  
"Oh," softly replies the girl, who begins to cry. "The snake's not really mine. I just found it slithering in the grass here. It's just that I'm so lonely. If only I had a pet to keep me company, then I'd be happy. ... By the way, I hate singing." Both Kagome and Miroku are thankful to be free from song cues.  
  
"Well, we're off to see the great and powerful Kaede. You're more than welcome to join us," says Miroku, grabbing the girl's arm in one hand and posterior in the other.  
  
The girl smacks Miroku on the head and introduces herself as Sango. She continues to beat Miroku senseless, until he is able to run hide behind Kagome. However, he also grabs her butt, leading to yet another savage beating.  
  
With the addition of Sango, the group begins to once again travel down the Shikon Jewel Road. Soon, they approach yet another clearing. As they proceed through the clearing, a man jumps from the bushes.  
  
"Demon!" he cries, lunging for Kirara. Kagome instinctively reaches out and bonks him on the head.  
  
"Hey! What was that for?" the man asks, sitting on the ground and rubbing his head. Kagome notices that he has the ears of a dog.  
  
"Well, you should have left Kirara alone. She didn't do anything to you," insists Kagome, arms crossed.  
  
"She's a demon," states the man.  
  
"So are you. I can tell by the ears," argues Sango.  
  
"Feh... like that matters," whines the man. "If only I had someone to kill and a neat weapon to help me do the killing. ... Oh yeah, by the way, I kill people who like to sing."  
  
"But you do have those things. That pointy thing you're carrying around is called a sword. You chop stuff with it, and there are plenty of Shippous, who like to sing by the way, in a little village back that way," explains Kagome, pointing. She is happy to have escaped all semblances of song on this journey.  
  
"Oh," replies Inuyasha, thinking. "Well, in that case, I'm hungry. If only I had a great foodstuff that I could eat whenever I wanted, then I'd be happy."  
  
"Well, we don't have any of that, but we're off to see the great and powerful Kaede. Umm. maybe she's an excellent chef," says Miroku, extending an invitation.  
  
"I'll agree with you all being 'off'," laughs the man, no one getting the joke. "But for the sake of self-indulgence, I'll come with you to see this Kaede person. If I don't like her, I'll kill her. I like killing things. My name is Inuyasha."  
  
With that, Inuyasha joins the voyage. The group continues down the Shikon Jewel Road in search of the Jade Temple. They walk for many miles, rest, and then continue to walk some more. Finally, just before giving up hope, they top a hill and see the Jade Temple shining before them.  
  
"It's beautiful," whispers Sango, staring at the temple.  
  
"It sure is," agrees Miroku, staring at Sango's butt and reaching to grope it.  
  
After picking up the battered Miroku, the group runs down the hill and begins to cross the field. Just then, the flowers turn into cushy pillows. The pillows remind the group of sleeping, and they fall onto them and begin to snore.  
  
"MWA HA HA," laughs a giant Naraku, appearing translucent against the sky. Now I have you. You will never get home, and I... Ha Ha Ha... I will get those shoes!" With that, Naraku vanishes, still snickering.  
  
"I can't believe how incredibly dense you people are," sighs Sesshoumaru, taking his turn at appearing against the sky. "I mean, if it had been poppies, you would have at least had an excuse. Those things make opium, for crying out loud. You all are just stupid for letting pillows distract you." He grabs translucent cymbals sitting beside him and begins to bang them together.  
  
The group rises and begins to complain. Realizing Naraku's ploy, they quickly stand and get back on their way, without thanking Sesshoumaru.  
  
"Well, that's the last time I offer to help," pouts Sesshoumaru, disappearing for the remainder of the story.  
  
The group finally arrives at the gate of the Jade Temple. Kagome knocks and a green reptilian creature slides open a small window on the door.  
  
"Go away," smirks the creature. "I, the great and powerful Jaken, commands you."  
  
"More like Jaken, the weak and mediocre," sneers Inuyasha. Miroku points at Jaken and laughs.  
  
"Yeah," says Miroku. "You were Sesshoumaru's little lackey until he found someone else."  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about," shouts Jaken.  
  
"Rin! Rin! Rin! Rin! Rin! Rin! Rin! Rin!" sings Sango maliciously.  
  
"Don't say that name!" orders Jaken, covering his ears.  
  
"Old Fluffy went and found someone he likes better," laughs Inuyasha.  
  
"You will never enter this temple," cries Jaken, shutting the window.  
  
"Great, guys! How will we get to Kaede now? I'll never get home," sobs Kagome.  
  
"Don't cry, Kagome," says Inuyasha, reaching out and touching her arm.  
  
"Yeah, it'll be okay," affirms Sango, Miroku and Kirara nodding behind her. The whole group stands around sadly. Miroku reaches out and grabs Sango to "console" her. Sango is turning to give him the beating of his life, when the gate doors swing open.  
  
"You're Kagome? That's different then. Lord Sesshoumaru has already told us of your journey. The Kaede is waiting to see you," announces Jaken, now standing in the doorway.  
  
The group enters, Inuyasha bopping Jaken on the head. "Hee hee, RIN!" shouts Sango, to the dismay of Jaken. Inside of the temple, Kagome and her friends get pampered by the staff with not even a trace of idiotic singing. Just as Kagome feels she is in heaven, a swarm of Naraku's bees forms letters in the sky, saying "Surrender Shoe Thief."  
  
Worried, Kagome decides to go to Kaede immediately. She and the rest of the group walk down a long hallway into a vast chamber. In the middle of the chamber sits a giant dragon, its enormous fangs glistening in the torchlight.  
  
"I am the great and powerful Kaede," thunders the dragon, who then roars ferociously. "What brings ye to my temple?"  
  
"We have come to ask you." Miroku begins but is cut short.  
  
"Ye are not worthy of asking me anything. Ye must first prove ye self worthy by bringing me Naraku's pelt," commands Kaede, dismissing the visitors.  
  
The group sets off to capture Naraku's monkey suit. After getting directions from Jaken, they set head towards the den of Naraku. They once again walk a few miles, rest, and walk some more. Just when things are getting boring, Inuyasha begins hopping up and down, scratching his neck.  
  
"Hey! Hey! Quit that!" yells Inuyasha, triumphantly squishing a flea between his fingers. Getting up, the flea calls for reinforcements. Countless fleas begin hopping out of the undergrowth.  
  
"We are the Myougas, come to take the shoe thief to the den of Naraku," declares one.  
  
"I do have a name, you know," grumbles Kagome, turning up her nose.  
  
The Myougas begin to swarm around Kagome. Shrieking with disgust, Kagome attempts to run. However, she trips over Kirara and falls, dropping her knapsack in the process. A large group of Myougas wedge under her and begin hopping, carrying a cursing Kagome with them.  
  
Meanwhile, the other Myougas bombard the rest of the group. Inuyasha begins howling and slapping himself. Sango reaches into the knapsack Kagome dropped and pulls out a bottle labeled "Bug Spray." She cannot read and has no idea what it is but sprays it on the Myougas anyway. The Myougas take a whiff of the spray and run in fear. Sango empties the bottle and then throws it down, picking up the discarded knapsack.  
  
"At least they took her to where we're already going," grins Inuyasha, happy at the prospect of killing things. As group begins the trek to the den of Naraku, Kirara mews miserably, and Sango picks her up and comforts her.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
In the den of Naraku, Kagome is thrust into a cell by the Myougas. Kagome stands and frantically checks to make sure they are all off of her.  
  
"Stupid, icky fleas," moans Kagome.  
  
"Hey, we heard that," call the Myougas from outside the cell. "Don't make us come back and bite you."  
  
Suddenly, a puff of red smoke appears in the corner. Naruku steps out of the smoke, as Kagome coughs.  
  
"Smoking is bad for you," she snaps, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Give me the shoes," orders Naraku.  
  
"Never," shouts Kagome, heeding Sesshoumaru's warning.  
  
"Fine then, I'll give you an hour to comply. If you do not, I'll kill your little brother," laughs Naraku evilly.  
  
"Souta," shouts Kagome. She pauses for a minute confused. "How will you know when it's been an hour? There are no watches in feudal Japan. And how will you kill him? I can't get back to my time... how can you?"  
  
Naraku opens his mouth to answer but, not being able to come up with an answer, closes it again. He once again disappears into the red smoke.  
  
Suddenly, the door to the cell bursts open and in strolls Kagome's companions. She is relieved to see them and likewise, until the Myougas slam the door behind them.  
  
"Great rescue," mumbles Kagome sarcastically.  
  
The others look around sheepishly.  
  
"We're sorry, Lady Kagome," says Miroku, taking Kagome into his arms.  
  
"Hey! Just because we are stuck in a cell, it doesn't mean you can grope people," yells Sango, whacking Miroku on the head with her fist.  
  
"Be quiet," growls Inuyasha. "I hear something."  
  
The cell door swings open and Naraku enters. Kagome picks up a glass of water from the table behind her and splashes Naraku.  
  
"What are you doing?" asks Naraku. "You matted my monkey fur. Why did you do that?"  
  
"Umm... I saw it in a movie once. It worked then," apologizes Kagome.  
  
"Hey, Inuyasha, you know that sword we were telling you about? Well, now is a great time to use it," mumbles Miroku.  
  
"Yay, time to kill things," Inuyasha yells happily.  
  
Inuyasha unsheathes the swords and smites a complaining Naraku, who disappears before he can get hurt. Inuyasha continues to hack and slash at the petl. Finally, Kagome pops him on the head, and he quits.  
  
"Look what you did to the pelt," scolds Sango, holding it up. Naraku curses from the other room. "He's lucky he decided to flee when he did," she adds, laughing at the pun.  
  
"We heard that," cries the Myougas, causing the whole group to cower.  
  
"Let's get out of here," suggests Kagome, cringing at the thought of another flea attack.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Back at the Jade Temple, Kagome and her friends go to see Kaede again. The dragon looks as fierce as ever.  
  
"We have brought you the pelt of Naraku," says Kagome.  
  
"Ye have ruined it. Ye were supposed to bring it to me, not destroy it. I refuse to help ye now," booms Kaede.  
  
"What were you planning to do with it anyway, blackmail him?" asks Sango.  
  
"Silence!" orders Kaede.  
  
While the group attempts to argue with the dragon, Inuyasha drops to the ground and begins sniffing. He begins to crawl towards a silk drapery. Standing, he lunges through the drapery, attacking an old woman.  
  
"Get off of me," the old woman and the dragon both scream.  
  
Inuyasha drags the woman out of the drapery-hidden recess, and the dragon disappears.  
  
"Inuyasha!" Sango screams, smacking him on the head. "Leave the old woman alone."  
  
"Don't call me an old woman," commands the woman. "My name is Kaede."  
  
"Why did you try to trick us with your magic?" Miroku asks.  
  
"Would ye take orders from a little old lady?" asks Kaede.  
  
"Well... I... umm," stammers Inuyasha.  
  
"Exactly!" exclaims Kaede.  
  
"Well, anyway," says Kagome, "can you help us?"  
  
"Sure I can. Miroku, ye wanted a girl that would keep ye in line. Meet Sango," says Kaede, pointing to Sango.  
  
"Me? Why do I get stuck with the pervert?" whines Sango.  
  
"Sango, ye wanted a pet to keep ye company. Here ye go!" continues Kaede, taking Kirara from Kagome and giving her to Sango.  
  
"Hey!" exclaims Kagome.  
  
"Ye already have a pet at home," states Kaede.  
  
"Aww," says Kagome, disappointed.  
  
"Inuyasha, ye wanted food that's quick and easy to make," says Kaede. She takes Kagome's knapsack and pulls out three packets of ramen. "This is ramen. Ye just add hot water."  
  
"Ooooooh, rrrrraaaammmeeeennnn," whispers Inuyasha in awe. He quickly snatches the ramen and hides it in his kimono.  
  
"What about me?" asks Kagome, eager to see her family again.  
  
"All ye have to do is jump back into the well," answers and all- knowing Kaede.  
  
"What?" screams Kagome. "You mean I didn't really have to come here at all?"  
  
"No ye didn't," says Kaede smugly.  
  
"Then what are the stupid shoes for?" asks Kagome, growing angry.  
  
"Everyone bought a pair last week... everyone except Naraku, that is. We like to tease him about it," answers Kaede, everyone nodding in agreement.  
  
"I don't wear mine," added Inuyasha quickly.  
  
"But why, Inuyasha? They would go great with your kimono," teases Sango.  
  
"Ok, I'm leaving. I hate all of you," screames Kagome, turning to leave. "I can't believe all I had to do was jump down that stupid well."  
  
Kagome leaves the Jade Temple and heads back to the well, daring the anyone to talk to her. She jumps into the well and falls...  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Kagome wakes to see Souta's face. Relieved to be home again, Kagome attempts to sit. However, pain shoots through her body.  
  
"Don't try to move," says Souta. "You had a bad fall. I... I'm sorry, Kagome. I didn't mean for you to fall. I was just kidding around."  
  
Confused, Kagome tries to remember what happened to her.  
  
"Oh yeah. I was in the barn. But... what about Kirara?" mutters Kagome, feeling dizzy.  
  
"Who?" asked Souta, looking concerned. "When I saw you, you were alone and talking to yourself..."  
  
Kagome fades back into sleep.  
  
Kaede chuckles from the Jade Temple. "Ye stupid kid."  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Yay!!! My first real fanfic is finished!!! I hope you enjoyed it.  
  
As always, I do not own the rights to Inuyasha or The Wizard of Oz... but I wish I did!!! They rock!!!  
  
Please review!!!  
  
Ciao  
  
-Mel- 


End file.
